fix you

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

.yadayadayada.

bismillah.
coming back to write.

alhamdulillah.
my wish is granted.
also life has been treating me well lately.
just been bothered by unstable  emotions,thoughts.
well.,this is me.hehe.

reported to my new school just now.
a bunch of welcoming mr.s and mdm.s.
and i should say it was a different experience of reporting to the previous school.way different.

i am prepared for the worst though.indeed,experience is the best teacher.
prepared?am i really?sigh.


hey friend.
i hold you with both my hands and my heart.
it saddens me to wake up and realize that i have to let go of you in order to keep my other half.
not really letting go.we just cant be as close as before.haih.
thanks buddy,for everything.
just so you know i love you dearly.and i know you love me the way i do.
i was,am and will always be a mess.haha.and you know i cant help it =)


welcome 2013!!!
Lets bounce Nad!!!with full of the joys of spring!!!hoyeah!!!

ignore

"Never ignore someone who cares for you because someday you’ll realize you’ve lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones."

-saw this somewhere.feels like sharing

congratulations

my best friend Abd Hafiz Sheik Abd Hardy got married

went to Ajil and Batu Pahat for both the receptions

tahniah dan semoga selamat di dunia dan akhirat

weekend

10.11.12

don got married. congrats :)

11.11.12

nad got the transfer she wanted. congrats :)

me: lepak with friends, got to see friend got married, got news that a friend got what she wanted for a long time...priceless

happy all around 

1

what do i want in life?and what must i do to achieve it?
simple questions and the answers should be simple.
until i can answer the question with a simple answer, that means i'm not 'there' yet which one day i hope i will be. InsyaAllah

puasa dan raya

2012/1433H

kali pertama puasa sebulan tanpa parents di rumah. gets a bit lonely sometimes. really hope ayah and mama enjoy their 1st time performing umrah during ramadhan and stay healthy all the time.

this is also the 1st time raya after getting a job. really thought that this time i can get myself loads of new clothes and maybe a pair of shoes but unfortunately, I will be transfered to another project a week after raya which means all the budget for clothes, shoes, (and duit raya for the little ones..hehe) have to be cut to make way for house rent deposit and other stuff needed to move from batu pahat to either tampin or bangi..

unlucky me..but i guess Allah has better plans for me..

.cikgu.

Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first.  The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior.  When our students fail, we, as teachers, too, have failed.  -Marva Collins-

saya gagal kerana sebagai seorang guru saya even dont voice it out about hak anak didik saya mendapat 8 waktu seminggu bersama saya.

i know i am wicked.collecting money, threatening, and being sacarstic.

just so u know mak sayang kamu semua.

self reminder

dua lagu untuk diri sendiri
1.aku yang berdosa by Shahir
2.kepadamu kekasih by Jamal Abdillah, M Nasir Hattan

lagu-lagu yang sangat dalam

aku yang berdosa

Sejauh mana langkah ku di sana
aku melupakan mu

Seluas mana kau beri padaku
masih ku angkuh padamu

segalanya dusta
gelap menggaburi ku

Ya Allah, apa yang bisa
ku tebus kepadamu
atas dosaku..

kepadamu kekasih

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku berserah
Kerana ku tahu Kau lebih mengerti
Apa yang terlukis di cermin wajahku ini
Apa yang tersirat di hati
Bersama amali

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku bertanya
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku kembali
Atau harus menghitung lagi
Segala jasa dan bakti
Atau harus mencampakku ke sisi
Tanpa harga diri

Hanya padaMu Kekasih
Aku tinggalkan
Jawapan yang belum ku temukan
Yang bakal aku nantikan
Bila malam menjemputku lena beradu

KepadaMu Kekasih
Aku serahkan
Jiwa dan raga
Jua segalanya
Apakah Kau akan menerima penyerahan ini
Apakah Kau akan menerimaku
Dalam keadaan begini

.the beginning.

we fell in love, despite our differences.

may the day be the beginning of our fairy tale. ameen...

you are, and will always be my dream

thank you mama ayah,baby sister and brothers, relatives, hi-5 sibs, friends for your love,supports, and prayer. love2.

tau...make up tebal...haih,

smile

walaupon penat balik keje hari jumaat lepas

walaupon mata mengantuk jam 12

semuanya hilang dengan satu senyuman

hari minggu pon seronok walaupon xkeluar rumah :)

grow up well my girl

today in history

16 June 2012
you're 24 and you're now engaged
congrats buddy!!!

mumford dan anak-anak

playlist weekend/waktu bosan

mumford & sons -the cave, little lion man, white blank page, winter winds, sigh no more
phillip phillips/greg holden- home
gotye-somebody that i used to know

.thank you.

mind you this entry is geli gila, but i intend not to forget the day. if i will happen to have Alzheimer one day, this entry will remind me of this moment. 

may 23, 2012; 1430 - sambutan hari guru peringkat daerah.

received 2 letters from ppd on monday. ok; i may be one of the organisers.damn.not in the mood of reading another letter.planning got to know my task on the day itself.

"nadiah, kau dapat anugerah ape nanti?"

"akak...mana ada anugerah.ajk la tu"

"yelah tu kau ni.esok kau pergi lepas tu balik nanti cerita apa jadi"

smiled and went away.

went to the respective school.kak ju called and asked me to register as a penerima anugerah.hahaha.like seriously?

"kau tengok!aku dapat anugerah!hahaha.kau tak caya.kau belanja aku nanti"

"perasanla kau!!!"

dropped me at the school and drove off. 

jalan slow yang boleh. high heels asyik tercabut2.damn lagi.

registered in a crowd.haih.

ting2!!second place in guru inovatif peringkat daerah (kategori kumpulan).thanks to my mentors;kak ju.and so.

simple colour coding idea,hehe.thanks again kak ju, for listening and the knowledge u have been sharing.

opened the car door.

"tahniah sayang..."

he, who i know is not romantic at all.with all the honesty that most of the time hurts my feelings,in front of my eyes holding a bouquet of flower with a wide smile.

"serious?"

"yes.,untuk sayang"

and again, honestly said; "sayang, tadi ada bunga lagi besar.30 lebih.tapi tak cukup duit nak beli sebab tak cucuk lagi"

"mana tau saya menang ni?

"i read the second letter"

"hahaha.gila mana ada"

"adala.selalu je tak tahu"

mr, u have transformed!hahaha.
thanks for always being there.second by second i love you more
you are my love,my friend, my strength.
i hope we are blessed and will be together.forever till jannah.semoga saya masuk syurga.ameen.

.dara.

putting aside his scandalous life.
he never fails putting smiles on my face through his songs.
a kind of solace.

and for that; i really thank him =)

hari ini hari ahad

hari ini merasa bosan
maka aku meyoutubekan diri
snow patrol menjadi pilihan
foo fighters tetap di hati

foo fighters-everlong, big me, walk
snow patrol-run, chasing cars, called out in the dark, you're all i have

tahniah

terima kasih didier
terima kasih frank
terima kasih petr
terima kasih ramires
terima kasih juan
terima kasih branislav
terima kasih ashley
terima kasih john
terima kasih john obi
terima kasih jose
terima kasih salomon

tahniah untuk wembley.
goodluck for munich.

.apa makna gaji?.

gaji nak banyak kan?kerja elak2.semua bagi kami yang kecil.
gaji itu imbalan kerja yang dilakukan derr.


"bagi dia sebab dia blablabla"
"ni kena bagi dia blablabla"
"saya sokongdia!"

asalkan engkau lolos.kan?

come on la.dengan 12 masa seminggu pun masih mahu tolak kerja.


oh lupa.seniority is important maaa!!!puih!


pejam mata.tarik nafas

"kalau kau buat kerja lebih dari gaji kau,insyaallah Allah bagi ganjaran dalam bentuk yang lain"

tapi aku dah tahap tak ikhlas ni weh syad!!!!!

. jealous tak irsyad?.

irsyad.dari taman astakona ke izinkan selamanya namamu di hati ke andai dapat kuundurkan masa ke akulah kekasihmu ke cinta bandar tasik selatan ke entah apa lagi.so aku lagi updated!hahahaha.
oh btw, aku pernah turun lrt bandar tasik selatan.kau pernah?hehe.

.kamu.

rentan jiwa.mahu ingin bercakap.duduk dekat.pegang erat.hambur semua.lamanya itu.terakhir berkongsi. bilamana sebulatnya didengar.selam lalu faham.bisik jadi kuat.

"jangan diseka.bagi mereka kekuatan dan senyum kamu.kongsikan saya kesedihan.saya rasa indahnya.ada sisi paling halus kamu.saya selamanya ada sama kamu.jika dibolehkan,ambil semua kekuatan.biar saya mereput hancur.semuanya untuk kamu.ini dia yang akan temani kamu.tiada jemu.sumpah"


lamanya itu.sejak terakhir saya meluah.mendengar apa yang saya ingin dengar.haih.kamu itu tahu apa mahunya saya.kita sebenarnya sama bukan?mohon diulang lalu dihentikan.kamu hilang.dan saya jadi rapuh.menunggu masa untuk tumbang.menyembah mimpi semalam.


tinggal semua kesesakan.letak tepi beban.lari dari kenyataan.cumanya semua tentang kita.letak titik.semua tidak akan berlaku.tikam dada,potong hati.bangun.
rindu yang sadis bukan?

Acapkali batin direngkuh. Mencari ruang katarsis yang entah ke mana cicirnya (Hisyam Alias)

kereta

there are no cheap cars in malaysia..just less expensive..

ada apa dengan RON?

dah lama aku isi minyak RON 95.tp baru hari ni aku perasan something yang agak curious. harga sebenar dia RM 3.54 tapi lepas dah subsidi dia jadi RM 1.90

harga RON 97 ikot pasaran dunia.kalau dunia naik, harga dia pon naik. sekarang harga RON 97 RM 2.90.

orang biasa tengok RON 95=RM 1.90 so cheaper than RON 97=RM2.90. tapi yang kita patot sedar harga RON 95(lower quality than RON 97)=RM 3.54 way more expensive dari RM2.90 RON 97

does this even make any sense?

y u no cheap?!?

zzz

xde kerja nak buat time kerja=bosan tahap dewa

dunia

betol jugak orang cakap.."malaysia ni negara islam.kenapa kita nak sibuk dengan sijil halal...majoriti org islam sepatutnya barang2 adalah halal.yang patot disijilkan dan nak kene cop tu barang non-halal."

make sense to me...

then again...certified halal products generates a lot of interests when it comes to global market...jadi xde masalah kalau nk cop halal ke cop xhalal ke.sume ada kebaikan masing2.

free

bila keluar idea untuk mansuhkan ptptn, pak menteri cakap akan membebankan negara. menurunkan daya saing pelajar kerana dapat free. sapa nk bayar student ipts. dan sebagainya.

aku rasa ptptn patut dimansuhkan kalau x secara total, sebahagian. cas perkhidmatan itu mengarut dan sangat membebankan lagi menyusahkan.sangat2 perlu dihapuskan cas ni. kalau xmampu nk bagi semua free for ipta, then wat mcm mara. bayar balik ikot cgpa. the higher the cgpa the lower the percent of loan payment. nak negara maju kena bagi rakyat pandai.

kalau ipts, thats their choice.for me, ipts is for the rich. kalau xmampu, still ada politeknik, kolej komuniti which is way cheaper tapi x grand la kan.orang malaysia ni nk grand je.

kalau ipta free, then student akan lebih berusaha nk masok ipta. so quality of student yg dapat masok ipta pon meningkat. daya saing amongst budak2 pandai ni agak tinggi la kan.so no problem with daya saing menurun.

kelantan, negeri yang dikatakan miskin pon mampu nk bayarkan hutang ptptn rakyat dia kalau hak royalti dia diberikan. 90000 peminjam. total hutang ptptn 1.2 bil. royalti minyak sepatutnya 4 bil. so xde masalah nk gunakan duit hasil bumi sendiri untuk pelajaran rakyat sendiri.

kalau nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih.

.lacuna.

i knew what i wanted to say but i always could not say the words out then i chose to write.


things happened.


so it is perhaps better for me to stop writing.


for a while.


i will come back from hiatus.


soon i guess as this blog is a part of me =)




 

chasing light

the pay is good

more than enough for someone who lives at batu pahat

but knowledge, experience, and satisfaction are at the minimum

i think i need to find something new

tiada tajuk

aku dah pandai makan tutti frutti.

aku beli kain kat gulati's.

dah maju rupanya aku...

-nanti itu infiniti-

.lets read!.

.firdaus dan jahanam.

"tengok tu.dia makan berdiri.buruk perangai" yang lebih disibukkan daripada "kita kalau makan mesti pastikan dari sumber halal"

dia yang lebih difikirkan daripada kita.
hel remeh diperbesarkan,
lalu lupa kepada 'core subject'.
apa yang nampak depan mata diterima bulat2.
apa yang busuk dihidu diwar2kan.


Islam agama yang adil.
Allah juga tidak pernah zalim kepada hambaNya.
keaiban hambaNya ditutup.
lalu kita siapa untuk menyingkap?
apabila agama dan adat dicampur,
maka lahirlah nilaian2 akal manusia yang disangka sempurna.


syurga neraka Allah yang tentukan.
menilai menghukum kerja Allah.
hati,alasan dan sebab tak terjangkau nilaian akal manusia.
esok juga rahsia kejap Dia.
boleh jadi hari ini  hina,tapi esok lebih baik daripada kamu.
peringatan untuk diri sendiri;
muhasabah diri,bukan menilai orang lain.




berbudi bahasa means puji2 depan2 then cakap belakang.berbudi bahasa lah tu sebab nak jaga hati orang.bullshit.it is not politeness,it is an excuse for you to be good in front of others.but then as we are malays kan...as long as kau cakap manis,putar2,belit2, kau selamat.siapa yang straight to the point memang kurang ajar.bullshit lagi sekali sebullshit tak baik cium tangan budak kecik (baby) sebab nanti bila besar jadi org yang suka meminta-minta.

hasil titik peluh

susah nak cari duit.

susah nak kawal bila dah dapat duit.

.nak pencen.

.to perfection.

I

the end of a hectic week.calling here and there.ppd,jpnj,muetans from other schools...and the very first few phrases were "i am sorry for bothering you as i am new to this muet thingy.all the registration,venue arrangement etc.i hope you can help me".i am not a type of person who like to deal with too many people and i am in the process of transforming.hehe.it caused lots of tears,whines,sleepless nights.slowly am taking it as a learning process.kak rahmah (dato sulaiman) and kak ratna (STI);heaps of thanks for your concern.i know you wont read this but this is the only way for me to remember you kindness.for my children (God's will) to know who had helped their mommy when she was really in need.and as a reminder for me to always be good to others.terima kasih Tuhan kerana memudahkan...dipinjamkan mereka yang baik... *senyum* may all my tears and confusions paid with my akasia and angsana kids' excellence.

II

nobody's perfect.

ironically,people keep saying practice makes perfect.

hey does this mean we have to keep changing and uprgading ourselves to fit the word perfect?

people.with their words.haha.its way easier to be said than done peeps.

p.e.r.f.e.c.t.

.in connection with human relationship-how if u know that u are not perfect in someone's eyes?that the truth is you are out of the league.that the right one should not be like you.that you do not have even one listed criterion.call me a pessimist,but i strongly believe that the perfect choice is to walk away.as at the end of the day what count is the word accept,not improve.love means care which is to accept.adjusting ourselves to the imperfections,not improving others to reach the notion.

saya rasa sudah tiba masa untuk kawan saya pergi kerana dia tidaklah kecil molek,cantik,sopan,tenang dan baik.dia itu gemuk,hodoh,perengus,tidak tegar jiwa.oh lagi.dia itu tidaklah sopan.ah serabut!

maka sebaiknya dia pergi kepada dia yang berlapang dada memandang celanya dia dengan kesempurnaan.oh by  the way,awak pun tidak sempurna encik.lalu kenapa harus dia sahaja yang menyesuaikan diri mengikut rentak awak?

"semua orang buat macam tu"

"Dan jika engkau menurut kebanyakan orang yang ada di muka bumi, nescaya mereka akan menyesatkanmu dari jalan Allah; tiadalah yang mereka turut melainkan sangkaan semata-mata, dan mereka tidak lain hanyalah berdusta." [6:116]

bila orang tanya kita kenapa kita buat sesuatu perkara tu (yang kadang2 benda xbetol), kita selalu cakap "alah..semua org wat mcm tu,xkan kita xbole"...

tapi kita xsedar yang kebanyakan orang tu x semestinya betol.

perlu tingkatkan usaha tingkatkan ilmu supaya xtermasuk dalam golongan kebanyakan itu.

sesudah setahun

setahun sudah.masih belajar menerima sepositif mungkin dan selalunya terjatuh.minta dihembus kekuatan dalam setiap nafas.diberi ikhlas dalam pengorbanan.dihilangkan keterpaksaan dalam masa yang diluang.disapa senyum dalam hati.


dia ulang2 bisik;
"jangan fikir kalau tak ada kaitan dengan awak.pandang sisi baik juga.jangan pandang buruk orang je..."

rezeki-2

a response for irsyad's previous entry.
and inspired by sarah's activity of counting her blessings.
thanx dearies =)

honestly sometimes i do blame fate or destiny for not getting what i want.
indirectly,i am actually blaming Him.
minta yang baik2.langgar larangan.tak buat suruhan.
bila tak dapat salahkan semua kecuali diri sendiri.
ampun...


"and He listens to those who believe and do the deeds of righteousness,and give them His bounty:but for the unbelievers there is a terrible penalty.
If Allah wants to enlarge the provision for His servants,they would indeed transgress beyond all bounds through the earth;but He sends (it) down in due measure as His pleases.for He is with His servants well-acquainted,watchful.
He is the one that sends down rain even after men has given up all hope,and scatters His mercy (far and wide).and He is the protector,worthy of all praise"

(42:26-28)

He is the one that sends down rain after men has given up hope...



count your blessing nadiah.be grateful as there are so many people who are way unlucky as compared to you.

"and remember!your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "if you are grateful,I will add more (favours)unto you;but if you show ingratitude,truly My punishment is terible indeed"

(14:7)

menitis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQzzilM23gc

no explanation needed.

.haywire.

starting to adapt and cope.

thank you dear Allah.

upon reminiscing,

missing lots of things .

the routine of mine which i have left and started to forget.

strolling.

looking for baby stuffs.

little gowns,pants, t shirts.

bottles,pacifiers,strollers.

spending hours in bookshops.

love stories,recipes,bookmarks,cards.

pleasantly sitting.

with a latte.

observing people.

walking to and fro in a crowd.

running in back alleys.

finding silly things.

listening to the sound of waves.

feeling the wind wrapping around me.

with your smile,laughter and company

.even if i dont feel good,God is good.

*smile*

borak

mereka minta kebebasan akademik.

mereka mahu ahli akademik menyatakan pendapat tentang kepakaran mereka tanpa perlu takut tindakan tatatertib dari pihak yang berkuasa ataupun pihak atasan yang sememangnya dipengaruhi oleh pihak yang berkuasa. kenapa perlu menyekat pakar dalam sesuatu bidang menyatakan pandangan ilmiah mereka yang berdasarkan fakta.

mereka mahu berpolitik dan berorganisasi. ini adalah untuk menyiapkan mereka untuk menghadapi dunia sebenar. kerana di luar universiti, politik dan organisasi ini memang ada. jika tidak ada pengalaman berpolitik dan berorganisasi di dalam universiti, 4 tahun di universiti hanya untuk belajar teori yang sudah pasti bukan 100% digunakan di dunia sebenar. di dunia sebenar, politik dan organisasi ada di mana-mana. jika mereka dibenarkan mentadbir universiti bersama HEP, bermesyuarat bersama senat, suara mereka akan didengar selain mendapat pengalaman bagaimana hendak menguruskan organisasi. yuran-yuran seperti yuran pengangkutan, yuran menggunakan kemudahan, yuran wi-fi dan sebagainya mungkin akan dikaji semula. mereka bukan budak sekolah yang ada yuran stokin mssd, yuran komputer dan lain-lain.

ini hanya pandangan peribadi pada masa ini. mungkin aku salah sebab tak cukup ilmu lagi. semoga dapat ilmu lebih lagi untuk jadi insan yang lebih baik.

-kita tak pernah sendiri. Allah sentiasa ada dengan kita-

.hush baby,speak softly.

these are reality.am i right?

I

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” 

II

“Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another? 
We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person's essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?” 

.haruki murakami.

trying to find meaning in others' actions and words.

after all

we are all alone.

indeed,

.babble.

weh,penat woi!!!
clerical work,duty,people calling here and there,staying back bla bla bla.
lord,i am dying.
am going to spend this weekend at school.haih,
tolongla...siapa mahu tolong....tak ada....
hellooo...ooo...who says being a teacher is such an easy job?


despite all the pressure,my kids is the reason for me to smile.

to teach good students is to make me do revision before i enter the class.haha.
teacher,why is it like this?why cant we write that?
God...thinking of applying the 3 golden rules.
1.teacher is always right
2.teacher is always right
3.teacher is always right
see,how lousy i am as a teacher.lalala~

oh ok.,thanks to my colleagues who helped me at my time in need.
kereta tak boleh start sebab lupa matikan lampu.happened on my very first day at school.
is it a sign of kesuweyan this year?lalala~

for my dearest sibs;hi 5.
all the best ya.my prayer is always with you.may Allah make it easier for you girls (hehe) to accomplish your dream.
nad tertinggal...uwwaaaa!!!!

the melancholic aqel will be back this weekend.
counting days to meet her.
orang tua tak ada duit nak balik.duduk sana diam2.haha.

ok,entry bukan macam irsyad's because i am not ready to be as matured as him.
before i forget,syad oi oi oi.congrats for the new beginning of your life.
belanja aku jangan lupa.hahaha.

last but not least,

belajar

ilmu baru minggu ni: baik dan buruk tu ketentuan Allah, tetapi yang buruk tu hanya nisbah pada manusia. bukan pada Allah. Dalam erti kata lain, Allah tentukan tu memang dah baik belaka, kita manusia ni je yang mentafsirkannya baik atau buruk.

semoga diberi peluang untuk belajar lagi.